Who would win in a fight: Jesus or Santa Claus?

[agonthier]

I don't want to steal Taylor's Thunder here, but this is a question I"ve been thinking about for a little while now.

The terms of the fight are a good old fashioned street brawl, pretty much anything goes, with an assumption of no weaponry other than what can reasonably be found in a street brawl (aka, Santa's Elves didn't manufacture any rocket launchers).

Cast your vote, then explain why. Winner gets a cookie (if I feel like it)

[erasmus]

Before I decide, what is the situation which leads these two to battle to the death? I can't imagine them just meeting in a dark alley and going at it. Let's have the stage set a little more.

[agonthier]

Santa called Jesus' mom a dirty ho after having a little too much eggnog, and jesus decided to teach Santa a lesson in humility.

[jedik809]

Jesus gets so upset that he overturns something in the alley like he did in the temple (Matthew 21:12) so ferociously that it hits Santa and squashes him. Jesus wins by knockout. I don't think I've heard of any violent incidents perpetrated by the real Santa, so I can't see this fight going any other way.

Wow, that was easy.

[andwer]

"something in the alley" counts as a weapon
santa is in much better physical shape (lugs around huge bag of toys) and is also heavier and shorter (nice and dense, bowl full of jelly, jelly is heavy)
Just for a fighting chance, I give jesus the opening blow
he goes for a kick to the crotch, but santas jelly rolls block the kick.
Santa gets him in a bear hug and squeezes him to death

[soronthebeast]

Since i am guessing this is about X-mas, are we talking baby jesus, because St. Nick will just sit on him!